DO YOU KNOW YOUR FRIENDS?

"I got an offer to go to university, but I didn't go, I didn't have money". Those are the words of my friend who I have not seen for a long time, almost 40 years. We've met, but over the decades, only for a while, not much to talk about.

After retiring, I had the opportunity to visit my friend. I happened to be going back to my hometown, his house was on my route. I took the opportunity to stop by his house.

            He was among my best friends during my school years. I studied in the same class with him from grade 3 to 6 at primary school. Then we also studied in the same class during forms 1 to 5 at secondary school. We were both appointed as school prefects during forms 4 and 5. After form 5 we parted ways because we had to follow each other's path.

            I continued my studies to form 6 sciences for only 2 weeks at secondary school in Teluk Intan and then received an offer to continue my studies in UKM Matriculation at a secondary school in Jitra. My friend went on to form 6 in the same old school.

After school, we only met 2 or 3 times. Most of all, I met him before I retired. He came to my office with some of his subordinates to discuss work. After that, we met after each of us retired, at his house.

It's normal that when we haven't seen each other for a long time, there are so many things to ask. After SPM/STPM, where did you go, what do you do, various old stories were brought back to life.

He said that after STPM, he had an offer to continue his studies at the university.  He once told me he went to university while working. He did not accept the offer at the time due to financial problems.

I was pretty hurt to hear the story. I never wondered what he was up against. By the time I got an offer to go to university, three brothers and a sister were already working. My father also still works as a police officer. Only two of my siblings are still studying.  Financially, I'm not in much trouble, plus I'm a scholarship recipient.

I've been thinking all along if I've been friends with him, do I know him. I only know the pleasure of being friends. Feels like we're just equal, without any life problems. This is not a question of eating and clothes, but a question of the survival of life, such as continuing his studies at university, which in our day was not easy to get a place at university. Letting it go is a huge loss. Some did miss the opportunity to go to university due to financial difficulties, but I didn't think my friends were in that situation either.

If we are friends, have we ever tried to get to know their family. Do we ever know his parents? What they do for a living. How many siblings. Have we ever felt like we were going to find out? Our friends never tell stories about their families, nor do we. We also rarely want to share about our family. It's our culture, we don't want to know our friend’s background.

It looks like a trivial matter. Why must we get to know our friend’s family? The effect is enormous. The is a saying, if you know someone, you will love them. This is what brings us together and will support each other and help each other.

I'm used to handling dynamic group activities. The participants were exposed to activities in which they would reveal each other's stories unnoticed. A story of love and sorrow. Advantages and disadvantages. Strengths and weaknesses.  Stories of sadness and joy. They get closer as they get to know friends more intimately.

I tested their closeness with group competitive activities, to get through it they must work together. We will be amazed to see how they help each other because they have come to understand each other better. I understand that the closeness of these participants remains. They still help each other in their work and their lives.

 Strengthening friendship is to get to know our friends better. When we get to know each other, there's empathy and sympathy. So there comes a feeling of helping each other.

 

 Translated by Microsoft Translator and Grammarly App.